It's been over 3 years since I've lived in this place. The time I've been here it's been hard (or harder than usual) to be very close to someone - ever since we split up. Now that I'm moving out, it feels like I'm not only saying goodbye to my place, but I'm finally saying goodbye to you too. Incidentally, I went through some old boxes and found some of your things. It made me think of how you were doing. If you were still circling around the drain that is your sickness - your life. If you could finally be happy - if only just for a few moments.

I have a cousin that left her husband a long while back. He was/is pretty messed up. Big depression issues. I was so mad at my cousin for giving up on her husband. I couldn't see myself giving up on you - not ever. I learned a big lesson back then: Everyone and everything has it's limits. Seems like that lesson is all around me lately (interpersonal).

I was on the south-side Friday night seeing my friend's band RoToR play at O'Mally's. Darryl had asked me if I wanted to play some pool, jokingly showing me the massive amount of "shrapnel" - he lovingly called it - from his pocket. I racked up, he broke, and I went on to shoot some of the best pool I've ever shot in the last couple of years.

It was like riding a bike. I hadn't played much pool in a long time, I always thought it would take years to retrieve the skill level I once possessed 4 years ago. People kept walking up to the table, to ask if I would play them. I think the 3rd person who came up and played - a tall Mexican wearing a long white t-shirt - didn't even have a chance to make one ball in. I couldn't miss; and when I could, I had impeccable safeties. The guy never stood a chance. At that moment the table was mine.

I don't use Facebook and MySpace anymore. I got rid of them. You can still email me: zan [-@t-]infektid [DOT] org.

Thank you for spending a few minutes with me! :)